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Saturday, July 23rd, 2005
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Wow....just wow... No spoiling of the 6th HP Book but...wow...
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Comments: Read 45 or Add Your Own.
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I really do think that this transcription tool is going to cause my death.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, July 21st, 2005
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That Disney skit was hillarious! I finally got to watch it :) LOL When Lily talked, I was like holy cow I forgot how deep her voice was XD Out of curiousity why no Jasmine?
I could not get to sleep last night. Finally around 10:30 I passed out at the bottom of my bed to be woken up by someone coming into my bedroom!
Matt: Why are the lights off?
Coley: ::grumpy, pulling out her ear plugs:: what...?
Matt: Were you masterbating?
Coley: ................wtf!? I was SLEEPING you ass.
Matt: Oh... ::pushes her over and sits down:: So what's going on?
Coley: ::dumbfounded:: Go away XD
Matt: But I just got here.
Coley: It's like 10:30, I have to work at 8am! I didn't think you were actually going to come over, so I went to bed.
Matt: I'm sorry....::proceeds to go on about stuff::
Coley: ugh...
Matt: ::starts taking his socks off::
Coley: Are you staying the night? @_o
Matt: What? I can't take my socks off? ::takes his pants off::
Coley: ....are you staying the night XD?
Matt: What I can't take my pants off?
Coley: ::groans and puts her ear plugs back in and tries to go back to sleep::
Matt: ::whines at her to rub his back::
Coley: I hate you, get out of my room XD
So anyway I didn't get to sleep till like 1 >_<
::very loud alarm goes off, Coley slaps snooze::
Matt: WTF was that!?
Coley: ...alarm.../zzz
::goes off 10 minutes later, slaps snooze, /zzz::
::goes off again 10 minutes later::
Matt: God that's so loud, why does it keep doing that?
Coley: ....cause I keep hitting snooze.
Matt: Wake up it keeps scaring the shit out of me...
Coley: I'm CLOSER to it.
Matt: YOU have ear plugs.
Coley: Did I say you could stay the night?
Matt: Turn it off.
Coley: Fine! ::falls asleep ontop of him::
Matt: Don't you have to go to work?
Coley: shut up and go back to bed...
So anyway I'm hella sleepy...
Ass is probably in my shower right now using my shit.
I need to find a job where I get paid to stay home and sleep.
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, July 20th, 2005
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Congratulations to the Disney skit, i can't wait to get home to see it! The script looked hillarious.
On another note, I have GOT to cosplay Luna Lovegood. I said it when I read the 5th book, I absolutely fell in love with her. And in this book again! Anyone who's made a Ravenclaw costume I may need some advice :) I need to reread the fifth book to get information about what she looks like though :) Been a couple years XD She reminds me so much of me :) With the Lion head!!
"I enjoyed those meetings too, it was like having friends."
"People expect you to have cooler friends than us."
I hope that didn't spoil anything XD
I heart her!
Anyway back to reading!
I still want to cosplay Prof McGonagal too :)
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 9:07 am. |
| Mood: |  pissed off. |
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If one more person tells me my pain is all in my head I'm going to kill them.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Coloscopies mother fucking hurt! It's like they perforated my cervix.
"Oh this'll feel like a mosquito bite."
"OWWWW!!"
Mosquito of Doom maybe!
I don't get to find out what's up until next week when I have to go back >_>;; But he said it did look wrong, so they had to take a biopsy, which is what actually hurt.
"Oh your cervix doesn't have any feeling."
Well aparently mine does... Cause I fucking felt ALL of that! And on my period none the less, let's add that to my cramps.... wooot! Atleast FFXI is FINALLY updating. I'm gonna pass out and enjoy a day off for a change...
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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For some odd reason I can access these sites at work @_@;; Maybe it's a test to see if I'm going to sites I couldn't normaly use. At any rate, it's pictures like this that make me wish I was rich and could just play FFXI all day long for forever.
http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/db/bestiary.html?fmob=3574
I'm sorry I LOVE this game, I just don't have time >_
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Let's top off the anger I have against my transcription tool by fucking up my time card punches for the weekend!
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, July 16th, 2005
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| Time: | 11:16 pm. |
| Mood: |  infuriated. |
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OH MY FUCKING GOD, I COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE MORE PISSED OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU TRANSCRIPTION TOOL YOU ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTANCE!!!!!!!!
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Well the transcription tool is working again, but like three hours later! So I have to stay till like midnight now >_< And be here again at like 6am tomorrow! I HATE YOU TRANSCRIPTION TOOL!
I hate working all the damn time... At least I don't make salary.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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You are my nemesis Transcription Tool, I will kill you!
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Alright second week of my 7 days 12 hours thing. Although technicly I only do 8 on Sunday since OLC doesn't need me. And I have the 19th off for my appointment. I need the break, my heart has been beating non-stop fast for the past few weeks. And I've been getting some bad pains in my abdomen, that don't feel like IBS pain :( Damn you endo!
I spilled coke all over my passenger seat in my car. I was getting into my car with food to take into the office today and I tripped forward and my pop went flying out of my hand ;_; Atleast the lid didn't come off or it would've been an even bigger mess. If I get my car detailed, will they clean the seats, and everything? I do NOT want pop stains in my car. I want my car to be sterile. Sorry I'm a nazi about this car.
And not that he reads this, and I think I may give him a call later to say it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIC! I'm sorry I still haven't given you your gifts from last year :( LOL, that just means I can't give Ki anymore trouble for not sending me games :) /poke /poke
I have some major fatigue going on... But I finally got to take a bath last night. Thank god... Woke up in the middle of the night though. Had a HORRIBLE sleep paralysis incident. I kept crying and screaming Matt's name at the top of my lungs, and of course not in actuality, because I'm sure someone would've came into my room. But I did wake up crying. I've done it with Don right next to me, and he never heard me. So I guess I'm not really screaming. It just sounds like it when I'm in the middle of it. I don't know why they're back, but the past week or two I've been getting them like mad crazy. I hate them and my doctors look at me like I'm nuts when I talk about it. It's the most terrifying thing to feel. And today's I was even saying to myself "Okay paralyzed, Wake up Nicole! Wake up Nicole!!" It's so erie...
Anyway back to work.
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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I'm not sure I feel sorry for myself. More that I am just tired. I believe that peoples arguments to keep me focused on the good are well meaning, but I don't listen. And now they do not exsist anymore. I think i got what I deserve. You can't expect people to keep fighting you.
Soon...
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Thursday, July 14th, 2005
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"Behind Blue Eyes" - The Who
No one knows what it’s like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
No one knows what it’s like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
But my dreams
They aren’t as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That’s never free
No one knows what it’s like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
But my dreams
They aren’t as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That’s never free
When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
No one knows what it’s like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
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I do believe finding lack of comfort in the things you love and the people you love designates a time to change. Or die, I'm not sure, I'll probably pick whichever one is easier, that sounds more like me. Or perhaps that's what I should change.
I think the endo is finally starting to destroy my bladder. It's always hurt to pee, for probably the past 3 years. But now it's almost unbareable. And the blood is back. The worst part is it continues to burn aftewards. Don't get me started on the other end.
I wish the endo would get in my lungs already and just suffocate me.
Not really sure what to do, not sure if a urologist can fix it. My gyno sure as hell is useless. Not that I could afford to go to one anyway.
Just constant pain in my lower abdomen and feeling nauseated all the time. Waking up completely exausted every morning. Sleep paralysis is back. Not wanting to talk to anyone. Upset that people are upset with me. Had the freakiest dream last night. Have the worst headache, and I never get headaches.
Someone remind me again why i should continue to live?
Nothing like giving a suicidal person an entire sack full of anti-depresants all at once. Nice, my doctor is deffinately smart.
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12 hr days x 7 days a week = Coley's hella sick of working.
Not that it's anything new but I think I pissed Matt off again. This time completely unintentionally. Usualy there's minor intent behind it when I do it. This time I was rather oblivious. Or maybe he isn't mad, I can't really check my im's from here. He IS ignoring my text messages. Or too busy, whatever.
I just posted a quote from an Offspring song in my away message, and he sent me an IM after I went to bed asking me if I ment that twords him. And I replyed this morning that while it wasn't direct as in a recent incident, it was basicly what I thought of other incidents, and I just learned my lesson from it. So I'm just going to assume he got offended by it. Cause that's what usually happens.
Oh well, no time for this.
I'm really starting to hate life, even more. I have a ton to do at home, but I need the money >_<; So sleepy and I think I'm passing another kidney stone...
Incase you're curious this was the quote:
"We make plans to go out at night. I wait till 2 then I turn out the light. All this rejections got me so low. If she keeps it up I just might tell her so."
I actually said that if he ment I was mad at him now for something he did that night, then of course not. I wasn't expecting him to come over as in, it hadn't even been discused. And anyway I've gotten so used to him not showing up when he said he was going to come over that I don't even wait up anymore. Like for instance Sunday night he came over at like 1am, but I was already long in bed, because I didn't think he'd actually show up.
So I'll see if that pissed him off or not. /shrug
And in a strange defense, I post angry away messages all the time that are usualy directed twords him, and this one isn't exactly different. But he never says anything about those @_o; I post happy and lovey ones too. My favorite, and in my opinion, meanest away message is from Chess:
"A normal person must dismiss you with disgust and weep for those who trusted you."
But he notices this one, just kind of makes me laugh.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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I just bought JELLO PUDDING POPS, suckas! Hells yeah! I can't wait to be eating those! I am putting a sign on them saying "I'll fillet any mother fuckers who eats these, except me of course! HANDS OFF!" God I haven't had a Jello Pudding Pop since I was like 7 XD I hope these taste as good. OMG I'M SO EXCITED!!! Best food ever!
Anyway I also bought way too many cds, but whatever XD
To apease Matt, I bought The Used
To apease Eric, I bought The Offspring
To apease David, I bought Dream Theater
To apease Mom, I bought The Who
The Used cd is their latest one, The Offspring and Who are greatest hits cds, although The Who has like 80 of those. And the Dream Theater cd is one of their live cds.
Anyway only like 10 more minutes here and then I get to go home! Woot woot to slacking!!
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THEY'RE BACK, I'M GOING TO HY-VEE RIGHT AFTER I GET OFF WORK AND GETTING THESE, THEY BETTER FUCKING HAVE THEM!!!!
http://www.icecreamusa.com/products/ind_product.asp?upc=77567-02023&brand=Popsicle
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh jello pudding pop, how I've missed thee!
Finally a reason to live!!!!!!!
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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coleylou's journal
indescribable.
annoyed.
sleepy.
giddy.
sore.
amused.
curious.
bitchy.
pissed the fuck off.
fatigued.
shocked.
sympathetic.
pleased.
enthralled.